Akatsuki Insanity!
by Tigera Lilyfrost
Summary: This is just a fic about life in the Akatsuki     enjoy! Some OC's might come later in the story!
1. What happened?

**Hey all! I've stopped working on my other story for a bit cuz of a slight writer's block D:!**

**But I got an idea for this story so yeah enjoy! =3**

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_** Akatsuki Insanity :D!**_

_**Deidara**_

It was late in the morning when Deidara woke up. "Bleh...Morning already, un." he looked at the clock and it said 11:34 am. "Hmm.. I slept in, yeah.. and why does my head hurt, un?" he said before sluggishly getting out of bed practically falling on the floor. He got on his cloak and went into the bathroom with a hand on his sore head right before he looked in the mirror and let out a girly shriek so loud and ear-piercing it would put a fangirl to shame!

"GAAH WHAT THE HECK, YEAH!" Deidara looked at the creature in the mirror. Aka himself! His hair was a ratty mess sticking up everywhere, his eyes were all gross and crusty, (not to mention the bags under them) and he had dried up spit on the side of his mouth. Oh yeah and he had dried up makeup on somehow. (O_O MAKEUP!)

Yup. I would scream too. Let's see just what happened here.

_** Flashback Time!**_

" SENPAI SENPAI LOOK WHAT I FOUND!" all of the akatsuki turned their heads from the tv to see what the lollipop-faced idiot was yelling about.

All except Konan, Pain, Sasori, and Kakuzu... "Tobi what the heck do you want, un?" Tobi brought out a bottle that was labeled 'Magic Energy'.

"Umm...what's **that?" **both sides of Zestu asked. "I dunno Zetsu-senpai! Kakuzu-senpai gave it to me!"

Hidan immediately looked up "Psh, what's that old cheapskate doing giving away free drinks?" he asked while walking over there.

Kisame walked over and grabbed the bottle before sniffing it "Smells drinkable like...blue raspberry?" everyone looked at him

"What? So I like raspberries...Geez just cuz I like raspberries doesn't mean I'm a pansy. Gawsh..." their attention immediately went back to Tobi and the strange drink.

"Well...**Let's test it out."** Zetsu grabbed the bottle and took a few gulps.

"Hey you guys should try this.** Yeah it's freaken awesome!"** Hidan shrugged and took a swig "Hey he's right this is actually pretty good...at least that old string-bag stiched up cheapskate is good for something."

everyone shrugged and all took turns of drinking it until the bottle was empty "Man that was good..." Kisame stated and got a "Hn" from Itachi.

Then Kakuzu came out of nowhere and handed them more bottles "Here ya go!" he went out as quickly as he came.

"WOOT MORE DRINKS!" Hidan yelled before gulping down the drink and all of a sudden Kisame started laughing out of nowhere. "Why you laughin' man, un?" Deidara asked before drinking more. "You guys look...all morphed and bubbly...hic!"

Konan and Pain walked in "What are you guys doing?" they both asked seriously. "TRY SOME!" Tobi shoved the drinks in their faces "Umm... what is it?" Konan asked awkwardly before taking the drink. She sniffed it and smelled her favorite flavor. Blue raspberry! She couldn't resist. She took a few sips before turning to Pain

"Pain-sama, you need to try some of this!" she said rather too happily. He raised an eyebrow before taking a sip. He started to do something un-Pain like. He smiled and said "Wow this is good." everyone would've been shocked but they were too busy laughing.

Before long the drinks had affected them...dun dun duuuun!

Konan started giggling for no reason at all, Tobi started rolling around acting like a pig, Zetsu was was using cheesy pickup lines on the house-plant, Hidan put his arm around Kisame and said "I LOVE YOU MAN!", Kisame just said "om nom nom" and started eating the side of the couch,

Deidara thought he was Hannah Montana, while Itachi just sat there passed out.

Konan was being Brittany Spears singing with Deidara on the Kareoke machine that had just somehow appeared (I suspect Kakuzu O3O!) and they were singing Superstar. Pain was telling a carton of eggs what to do.

All of a sudden Tobi got up and started yelling "REFRIGERATOR!" then got a celery stick and was attacking the refigerator. Deidara found Konan's makeup and put some on him (that explains the makeup 0_0) while trying to make his hair into an afro (0_o idk...)

Zetsu just smiled and sank through the floor. He later appeared with Naruto for some reason. Naruto screamed "WHAT THE HECK AAH YOU CAME OUT OF NOWHERE DATTEBAYO AAAHHH!"

Zetsu just smiled at him and threw a stuffed squirrel at him. "HEY IT'S OUR FRIEND NARUTO! SUP MAN TRY SOME!" Hidan smiled and gave Naruto a bottle of the drink. Or more like shoved it in his mouth and forced it down his throat. Naruto started coughing out the stuff "BLEH! TASTE LIKE BLUE RASPBERRIES!" Hidan smiled "That's because it is you silly goose!" ( very un-Hidan like! )

Sasori came out from making a puppet "What are you guys doing? What the heck is all this noise?" he asked in a bored voice.

To him, everyone looked like idiots. He was bored until he saw Naruto. "Um...hey guys stop fooling around it's the nine-tailed jinchuriki."

he just stared at them before Zetsu said "Bye-bye! Teehee..." and sank through the floor with Naruto before reappearing Naruto-less.

Sasori just facepalmed "Ya know sometimes I question that messed up plant...Leader-sama do you know about this?" he spotted Pain a second after that and just majorly facepalmed. Pain was throwing some eggs at the wall because they were undisciplined slackers and they didn't know the meaning of true pain.

All of a sudden Orochimaru came in the door with pizza."Hay guyz!" he said rather too happily... he threw the pizza on the floor and everyone started eating it rather messily before he walked over and started drinking the 'Magic Energy' drink that whoever called him over had told him about.

He did a fangirl squee before hugging Itachi. Itachi just woke up with "GAH! YOU LACK GOOD SERVICE... THE PONY...THE-" he looked around and everyone stopped and was shocked for a moment that he showed emotion.

Itachi just looked at them with a death glare but when they finally didn't get the hint he...raised the corners of his mouth...and...SMILED! Everyone gasped and screamed in terror at the scary sight of his doom smile before Zetsu came and threw a circlet of flowers on Itachi's head. Everyone was just now laughing like idiots (including Itachi) and started doing a bunch of random things before passing out.

Then Kakuzu came in and took the video camera off the wall. He was about to go back into his room before Sasori walked out of the kitchen and asked "So what was in that so called 'Magic Energy'?"

Kakuzu just smirked and said "Heh..it was a new product I needed to test out. It's a mixture of alcohol and caffine with a load of sugar in it. But these results show there was more alcohol than the other stuff." he nodded at all the passed out akatsuki members

"Well I'm not cleaning up the mess." Sasori said boredly before walking to his room to finish a puppet.

Kakuzu smirked and went to go copy the video into a bunch of dvd's for blackmailing... and later putting up on youtube.

_** End of Flashback!**_

"Ugh...I'm never drinking anything from Kakuzu again, yeah..." Deidara started washing his face and groaning from his headache.

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**Yaay chapter one! =D how did you like it? Review please =3! **

**Chapter 2 will be here soon ^_^ oh and never accept drinks from strangers kids! Or Kakuzu for that matter... _**

**Hidan: ! WHAT! I WOULD NEVER CALL SOMEONE A SILLY GOOSE! NOR WOULD I BE GAY FOR THAT GIANT FISH FACE!**

**Me: Yeah I know ^_^ but that teaches you to not drink strange drinks. From Kakuzu.**

**Kisame: Ow...my head... Wait. WHO'S A FISHFACE!**

**Me: o gawsh here it comes -_- *pulls a curtain over the fighting scene of an immortal *cough*OLD*cough* and a fish man thing... well anyways byez =3**


	2. Disturbed Morning

**Hey all! Chapter 2 is here! ^_^ soo if you liked the last chapter.. enjoy!**

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**_ Akatsuki Insanity_**

Itachi walked into the akatsuki hideout's kitchen with a throbbing head. All that had happened the night before was a blur.

He slightly groaned before opening up the fridge and pulling out the orange juice. He kept trying to remember what had happened and why his head was hurting, before he saw a bipolar plant cannibal and a masked hyper moron asleep in the living room.

Tobi was on the couch snuggling a pillow and Zetsu was on the floor trying to eat the rug in his sleep. ( yes the akatsuki have a rug. S-ranked criminals don't need to be without class ya know...)

Itachi was slightly confused for a second before it all came back to him... The drinks, the weird happy leader, the Nine-tailed jinchuriki Naruto, and the fact that he smiled.

Itachi was frozen in disbelief that he actually smiled in front of everyone.

Hoping no one remembered he took a gulp of the orange juice and grabbed a piece of toast before walking back to his room.

Then another memory hit him... Orochimaru was there... and he let out a fangirl squee and hugged Itachi.

Of course Itachi was drinking orange juice when he realized this, and in 3 seconds there was a spray of a sticky orange mist all over the floor. But the spray didn't just go on the floor.

Nope... a certain shark-man was standing in front of a very disturbed looking Itachi when the orange spray unleashed.

Kisame, who had just been clutching his throbbing head in pain, let out a manly-shriek because of the first thing that greeted him when he came out of his room.

He stood in a slight confusion registering what had just happened before yelling "ITACHI WHAT THE HECK?"

Itachi just stared but was still disturbed from the whole Orochimaru thing (hey I would be too O_O) so Kisame tried waving a hand in front of Itachi. No affect.

Kisame sighed "looks like this calls for drastic measures..." Kisame brought out a picture of Sasuke and waved it in front of Itachi's face.

Itachi quickly snatched it up and glared at Kisame. "Sorry but you were in some kind of trance..."

Itachi of course, didn't take the Sasuke picture thing lightly, and another 5 seconds later (which to Kisame was 72 hours) Kisame finally woke up from the longest demented shark-fin soup filled nightmare ever.

Kisame just sighed, "I'm going back to bed" he said before slamming his door shut and falling back asleep.

Itachi just sighed and went back into his room. He was secretly planning on getting revenge on Kakuzu for giving them those drinks.

And of ways to Orochimaru-proof the base...

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**AAAAHHH I know this chapter was short but don't worry next one won't be as short hopefully **

**=D! so yeah please review and tell me if I messed up on anything ^_^! very appreciative to those who liked it!**


	3. A Morning Surprise!

**Hai all! Haven't been able to write because of a mean nasty virus that attacked my computer D: yeah...viruses are meanehz! Their like "om nom nom computer tastes nommay" and I'm like "GOSH DARNET GET OFF OF MAI COMPUTER" then I start hitting my computer with a trash can :D wait... GAH getting off subject! Okay so anyways chapter 3 is FINALLY here sorry for the insanely long wait!**

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**_ -Akatsuki Insanity-_**

_** -(Psycho Horror Music Muahahaa!)-**_

It was a week after the wild party from Kakuzu's 'Magic Energy' which ended up in him getting a lot of his money burned by an angry Akatsuki and having to re-live that moment in Itachi's genjutsu...

But things moved on back to normal as usual.

Or so you thought...

"DAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNAAAAAAAAA!"

All of the Akatsuki peeped out of their rooms to look at the one making all the commotion.

Then there was a sudden fit of giggles.

There, standing in the hallway, was a pink-haired, bunny eared, very upset, Deidara standing in the hallway.

"DANNA! WHERE ARE YOU!" Deidara screamed at the top of his lungs.

He ran down the hallway and into the livingroom to see Sasori sitting on the couch.

"DANNA DID YOU SEE WHO PUT PINK DYE IN MY HAIR! AND DID YOU ALSO SEE WHO GLUED THESE EARS ON ME, UN!"

Sasori just lazily turned his head "Yeah. I did." he said before boredly changing the channel.

"WHAT THE HECK DANNA WHY DID YOU DO THAT UN!" Deidara screamed furiously.

"Because you 'accidently' blew up one of my puppets, 'accidently' got your sticky clay all over my puppet making tools and in my wood polisher and 'accidently' ripped the head off of Mr. Stitchy Bums.

(Yes, Sasori's stuffed clown doll... creepy right?)

"But they were accidents! Except for Mr. Stitchy Bums, un...After years of being watched by that demented clown face every tormented night I had to do something about him, yeah..."

Sasori glared at him "Yes so that's why I had to teach you a lesson. Because you are too messy. I'm going to ask Pein for a seperate room."

"Fine, go ahead. Your creepy puppet show is too much for me to look at every night. They're disturbing and weird, yeah." Deidara nodded at this.

"Hmph. Says the one who makes weird clay things that only last for a moment then die away. My art lasts forever, to be continually seen and admired, more than your so called 'art'. "

" THAT'S IT UN!" Deidara stomped into him and Sasori's room and kicked down one of the puppet shelves revealing the hidden door behind it.

Sasori heard the noise and came in to see Deidara with his Mr. Stitchy Bums, smirking.

"Don't...you...freaken...da-"

-'_**Shhhhhrrriiip!'-**_

Let's just say Deidara and Sasori now have seperate rooms and Deidara had to go to the Akatsuki medical room, while Sasori had to be put back together... and replace his burnt leg... Yup, fun times!

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**Okay so yeahz that was chapter 3! I know it was way too short so plz dunt keel meh D: but still please review! :3  
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**Review, or Mr. Stitchy Bums will be in your nightmares and in your closet! :D Muahahahaaa!**


	4. Kisame's Girlfriend

**Hay! chapter...4? Why am I always forgetting chapters? _ oh well yeah chapter 4 enjoy! oh and I don't own Naruto and sadly * sniff * not the Akatsuki either Q_Q! Now read!**

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_**Akatsuki Insanity! (Little girl screams)**_

_**dun dun duuuunn!**_

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Kisame yawned. He slowly opened his eyes and saw all of the Akatsuki in his room. They were holding a giant cake. A blue fish cake.

He stared for a moment before everyone yelled "SURPRISE!" he screamed and jumped out of bed, scarring them all for life from his naked sharkness. Well, he had underwear on but still...

Hidan covered his eyes "OH GREAT JASHIN MY EYES! MY FREAKING EYES GAH! OH ****!" he said rolling around on the floor.

Itachi went blind after that.

And poor Deidara fainted along with Tobi who was still covering his eye.

"GAH GET OUT!" Kisame screamed and pushed them all out, slamming the door.

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_**Later That Day.**_

"Sigh... Boring..." Deidara said as he was lazily flipping through tv channels. Kisame came running down the hall. The loud stomping brought the curious Akatsuki out of their rooms. Deidara looked up at Kisame. "EVERYONE! I HAVE GOOD NEWS!" Hidan smirked "Your found out that your mother is an ugly shark and thats why you turned out so friggin hideous?" Kisame growled "No crap face! I got a girl friend!"

There was a silence before Zetsu spit out his drink. "Wait what!" Itachi said, trying to feel his way out of his room with his cane. Kisame smiled proudly "Yup." Pain was curious, "Do we know her?" Kisame shook his head "Nope. But I brought her here to meet you all!"

Pain frowned, "Kisame, she could be a spy!" Kisame chuckled "Nope. Trust me, she isn't she's too sweet for that! In fact, Her she is!" he brought a plastic bag of water out of his cloak. But it wasnt just water, it had a little gold fish in it.

"Everyone, meet Nancy!" everyone snickered. Hidan laughed "HAH WOW SO DESPERATE HE DATES A FISH! A FREAKEN FISH! BAAAHAHAHAA!"

Kisame frowned and looked away. "Don't listen to them Nancy, their just jealous." Deidara laughed "Of what!" Kisame growled "Fine. If you can't appreciate Nancy's sweet charms and good looks then screw you guys. I'm going back into my room. You don't realize that Nancy's got all a woman has to offer. Including humps and lady lumps!" he said before running into his room.

Everyone stopped laughing after that last part and started feeling nauseous. Hidan had a very disturbed look. "I'm gonna go.. do a ritual or something... Oh Jashin get the image out of my mind!" everyone felt awkward. "Yeah I'm gonna go.. count my money..." Kakuzu said before following Hidan.

Sasori just sighed and walked into his room. Itachi looked utterly disturbed at the fact of what his partner just said. Deidara couldn't take it and ran to the nearest trash can to hurl.

Tobi didn't know what was going on so he shrugged and went to get some cereal.

Pain sighed "Well everyone just... carry on... we'll have a meeting... umm.. tomorrow. I will be in my room... planning something.. evil." Konan followed him.

Zetsu just shrugged. "Eh, you heard one weird thing once you've heard it a million times. **Yeah no new thing for us." **he said before sinking off somewhere.

And Kisame was in his room talking to his precious girlfriend.

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**Ah okay so review plz? Yeah didn't really like this chapter was just kind of bored so yeah o_o**


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